Archive for Augustus, 2009

Goeie More !!!

Posted: Augustus 31, 2009 in Uncategorized

prayer 3Mag jy vandag heeldag

jou koffie uit jou Piering drink,

omdat jou beker oorloop van

Seeninge direk VAN BO!

LIEFLIKE DAG !!!!!!

FACEinHOLE

Posted: Augustus 27, 2009 in Uncategorized


Create your own FACEinHOLE

FACEinHOLE

Posted: Augustus 27, 2009 in Uncategorized


Create your own FACEinHOLE

FACEinHOLE

Posted: Augustus 27, 2009 in Uncategorized


Create your own FACEinHOLE

FACEinHOLE

Posted: Augustus 27, 2009 in Uncategorized


Create your own FACEinHOLE

Kom ons lag n bietjie

Posted: Augustus 27, 2009 in Uncategorized

If you can imagine the scene you will laugh your head off!!!

balloon 1Tommy was playing in the house with his balloon. Throwing it this way and that, punching it up in the air, bouncing it off the walls until the balloon floated into the bathroom and into the toilet bowl. Tommy looked at this, pulled a face of disgust and left the balloon where it landed.

a Little while later his father entered the bathroom and promptly, without looking, sat down, with his magazine to do his “business”. On standing he looked with horror at the toilet bowl!!! The excrement had totally covered the balloon and the picture was of an immense and absurd gigantic mountain of shit.

Not wanting to believe what had just happened he quickly phoned his friend who was a doctor.

balloon 2“Gerald, I had a shit that just filled up the whole toilet, I’ve never seen so much shit in one shitting. It’s almost overflowing. I must have a serious problem”.

‘ Heck John you are most probably exaggerating!”

” What exaggaration. I am looking at all that shit now. It’s absurd. I must be very ill”.

“Ok, I’m on my way home but I’ll pop in as it’s on my way”.

The doctor arrived and went directly to the toilet where his friend was standing at the door waiting.

‘Hello John, where’s this business that you ….. What is this??????? For heaven’s sake what have you eaten?

“Didn’t I tell you? Now you believe me hey?

This is un-be-lie-vs-ble!!!!!!!

So you think I have a serious problem?

Well to start with I am going to take a sample!

Gerald, the doctor proceeded to take a small sterilized bottle out of his medical bag and when he pricked the “cake” to take his spicemen

………POW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The balloon popped and shit went flying to every crevice within the four walls of the bathroom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Absolute silence follows the eruption.

Both men encased in shit at each other and the doctor shouts…” Son of a bitch! I thought I had seen it all in this life, but a fart with a smell…never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DIE MOFFIE

moffie 1Die moffie besoek sy Giny omdat hy graag swanger wil raak. Die dokter voel dit is sy plig om die moffie te help en se vir die moffie dat hy n prop in sy hol moet druk. Vir 9 maande mag hy glad nie k@k nie.

Moffie begint toe omtrent om maternity wear te koop. Teen die sewende maand is die moffie lekker vet en sy pens is omtrent groot. Die moffie is behoorlik in sy skik met die swangerskap. Toe die moffie nou uiteindelik 9 maande is, kom Boswell Wilkie sirkus die dorp besoek. Die moffie besluit om na die sirkus te gaan.

Toe hy nog so rondloop op die gronde tydens n pouse hoor hy n snaakse geluid agter hom en skrik so groot dat die prop uitval.

moffie 3Skielik word hy oorval met pyn en hy is papnat gesweet. Die nood om te druk is groot. Onwillekeurig spuitpoep hy en voel omtrent verlig. Die geluid agter hom was toe al die tyd n klein apie. Toe hy omdraai en terug kyk, gee die apie een bree glimlag met sy gesig vol k@k.

Die moffie hak toe ewe af:  ” Jy lag nog ….. Mammie kon dood gewees het”!.

man and dog 1a Man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occured to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a  while, thye came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked towards the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, Excuse me, where are we?

hell 1This is heaven, sir, the man answered.

Wow! Would you happen to have some water? the man asked.

Of course, sir … Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up. The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

Can my friend, gesturing towards his dog, come in, too? the traveler asked.

I’m sorry, sir but we don’t accept pets.

The man thought a moment and then turned back towards the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

Excuse me!, he called to the man. Do you have any water?

Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there, come on in.

How about my friend here? the traveler gestured to the dog.

There should be a bowl by the pump.

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back towards the man who was standing by the tree.

What do you call this place?, the traveler asked.

heaven 1This is heaven, he aswered.

Well, that’s confusing, the traveler said.

The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.

Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope, that’s hell.

Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?.

No, we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends.

Soooo…..

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding stuff to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward stuff.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward stuff.

When you have something to say, but don’t know what, and don’t know how, you forward stuff.

Also let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

Forwarded stuff!!!!!

So, next time if you get a joke or other stuff, don’t think that you’ve been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you’ve been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

waterbowl 1You are welcome @ my water bowl anytime!!!!